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April 01, 2020, 02:22:03 AM
Funfani.com - Spreading Fun All Over!ENTERTAINMENT JUNCTIONJokes / Funny MessagesJoke Factory.......Must read
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love_hunk04
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« Reply #36 on: June 21, 2006, 02:17:26 AM »

Bill Gates died in an accident involving a misguided pie which was thrown at him by an angry Macintosh protester. Because of his achievements in life, it was decided that he should go to heaven.

God Personally showed Bill around heaven, displaying the Waterfalls, Great Forests, Lagoon's and Wet-T-shirt contests that are held regularly. Bill was impressed by all of them and kept nodding his head in approval, which pleased God because he enjoyed pleasing others.

When they finished the tour, God took Bill into his Throne room and sat down on the blindingly shiny throne. God asked Bill how he had enjoyed heaven so far, and Bill replied;

"It's been great, but you're in my chair."

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love_hunk04
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« Reply #37 on: June 21, 2006, 02:17:46 AM »

There was an Irishman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Kerry.

Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and, as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Irishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped there.

The Englishman was thinking: 'The Irish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Irishman and got slapped for it.' And the Irishman was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that English fool again.
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love_hunk04
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« Reply #38 on: June 21, 2006, 02:18:07 AM »

The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: ?Okay! Okay! I?m a rabbit! I?m a rabbit!?
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love_hunk04
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« Reply #39 on: June 21, 2006, 02:18:41 AM »

rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner.
The rookie rolled down his window and said, ?Let?s get off the corner people.?
A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, ?Let?s get off that corner? NOW!?
Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction.
Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, ?Well, how did I do??
Pretty good,? chuckled the vet, ?especially since this is a bus stop.?
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« Reply #40 on: June 21, 2006, 02:19:03 AM »

A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he?s topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can?t escape and finally pulls over.
The cop approaches the car and says, ?It?s been a long day and my tour is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I?ll let you go.?
The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, ?My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!?
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« Reply #41 on: June 21, 2006, 02:19:43 AM »

A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says ?Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses.?
The woman answered ?Well, I have contacts.?
The policeman replied ?I don?t care who you know! You?re getting a ticket!?
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