love_hunk04
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« Reply #12 on: June 21, 2006, 02:03:04 AM » |
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Mr. Boolywood's Letter
Beti No1
Boht Burra Ghur
Uckle Tikaney Town
Mainghi C District
Mr `Deewana Mastana`
Thank you for your love letter.
However I feel `Hud Kurr De Aapne` for `Hum Aapke Hai Kaun`? `Dil Chahta Hai` I should tell
you I think you`re a `Jaanwar`` and a `Shree 420`! I have to tell you I know your `Mohabatein` are
false.
Who gave you the right to think you`re my `Sajaan` and I`m your `Chandini`. How dare you look at me you `Coolie No1`! If you were here in front of me I`d hit you with my chapple so hard
your head will spin with these `Yaadein`.
You said `Kuch Kuch Hota Hai` every time you think of me. But I know you feel `Haseena
Maan Jayegee` to every girl you see. `Ram Jaane` what I`ll do to you if I catch you. If you have any `Khauf` you will feel `Durr` from me.
You`re a `Kunwara` leading a `Rangeela` lifestyle, with friends saying `Chal Merey
Bhai`. Spending all your nights on the `Sarak`. I`m sure the `Sholay` in your heart you say burn for me.
Is nothing but indigestion from too much eating and drinking!
Describing yourself as `Baadshah`, and `Himmutvar`, you sound like a `Jungli` to me. You say
you want to make me your `Biwi No1` however I say you lack `Insaniyaat`! I can`t believe
you think I`ll turn to you and say `Kaho Na Pyar Hai`! I`d much rather kiss a `Bichoo` than go
near you!
Any of `Amer Akbar Anthony` would be better suited to me than you. `Dil Wale Dhunyah Ley
Jayengey` you said, but I say your `Dil to Pagal Hai`!
Don`t` you realise that `Andaz Upna Upna` and that their can`t be no `Rishta` between us. We are like a `Mohra` in the game of life. And it`s always `Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham`. The open
`Fiza` with its changing weather is testament to that.
So please leave it as `Akeyle Hum Akeyle Tum`. Besides I`m already engaged to a guy with `Roti Kapra or Makaan`. And he`s no `Khal Nayak` like you. He`s my real `Hero`. My real `Jivan
Saathi`. And with him I really know `Yeah Raaste Hai Pyar Ka`. And there can be no space in
my `Zindagi` for anyone but him. You`ll only end up causing an `Aflatoon`, because he`s
a `Major Sahib` in the Army working on the `Border` and he`ll kill you if he finds out.
So save yourself from becoming the foundations of a `Deewar` and leave me alone.
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love_hunk04
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« Reply #13 on: June 21, 2006, 02:03:39 AM » |
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14 Million Pakistanis
Vajpayee (indian minister) and George Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?"
The barman says "Yep, that's them."
So the guy walks over and says, "Hello, what are you guys doing?"
Bush replies, "We're planning World War III" And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Vajpayee says, "Well, we're going to kill 14 million Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman."
And the guy looks at them in amazement and exclaims," A bicycle repairman?!!! Why him?"
So Vajpayee turns triumphantly to Bush and says with great glee, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!"
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love_hunk04
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« Reply #14 on: June 21, 2006, 02:04:03 AM » |
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Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. 'Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!'
'But why, Mom? I don't want to go.'
'Give me two reasons why you don't want to go.'
'Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!'
'Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.'
'Give me two reasons why I should go to school.'
'Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!'
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love_hunk04
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« Reply #15 on: June 21, 2006, 02:04:38 AM » |
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Bollywood Nazara Quiz
Q. RAM SITA HAI ... TO RAM KAUN HAI ??
A. TAILOR ( darzi )
Q. SITA RAM HAI .... TO SITA KAUN HAI
Sita MEMORY hai (RAM: Random Access Memory)
Q. Prasad ask's Kumble to bring a pepsi... Kumble brings a bottle of pepsi but goes directly to Tendulkar.
why ?? why ?? :-)
A. Tendulkar is an opener
Q. The Madrasi said, I want to see the movie 'heart is umbrella'. Which movie did he really want to see?
A. Dil Chhata ( Umbrella) Hai!
Q. Wohh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main nahi?
Socho socho ....
A. aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!
Q. What will! u call a person who is leaving India??
Socho...............
A. Hindustan Lever (Leaver).
Q. Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya
tha...................................?
A. adidas
Q. Luv and Kush are going to a village & in between comes a well. Luv fells into the well.
Why ?
A. Because Luv is blind!!!!!
Q. Now Kush also jumps inside. Why?
A. OK lot's of head scratching done.
Answer is... Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!!!
Want one more...
Q. Jackie Chan ki saas ( mother in law ) ka naam kya hai?..
nahi pata..??
A. D'Cold
chain ki saans - D'cold
chalo ab batao...
Q. Jackie Chan ki bahu ka naam kya hai ?
this is quite simple..
A. D'Cold again how come ?? kyunki saans bhi kabhi bahu thi :O))))))))))))
Q. Jugal Hansraj and Mayuri Kango bus stop par khade the.
Bus aayi - Mayuri gayi, magar Jugal nahin gaya - kyon?
A. Because Mayuri 'can - go'.
Ek aur.....
Q. Sharukh Khan aur Kajol bus stop pe khade hain. Kajol chali gayi, par Sharukh bus pe nahin chada - kyon??
think harder...
A.Kyonke woh Kajol ko chhodne aaya tha. Ha, ha, ha...
Q. Ek aur muaka de hi dete hain tumhe ..... kamal ,vimal do bhai they,dono bus stop pe khade the.. bus aai vimal chad jata hai per kamal nahin jata hai
why???
A. Kyonkieeeeee bus per likha tha ONLY VIMAL ( soap advertisement) !!!!!
aur chhaiye...theek hai
Q. Kadar Khan aur Shakti Kapoor dono bus estop pe khade the... bus aai aur Kadar Khan chad jata hai per Shakti Kapoor nahin jata
Qyo???
A. Qyonkieeeeeee woh Shakti Kapoor dusri bus ke wait kar raha tha
aakhri sawaal
Q. Amitabh aur Pran dono bus estop pe khade the... bus aai aur Pran chad jata hai per Amitabh nahin jata
Qyo???
A. b/s pran jaye per bacchan na jaye
aab kya...
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love_hunk04
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« Reply #16 on: June 21, 2006, 02:05:51 AM » |
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The boss who was on the 25th floor of the building called up the clerk on the ground floor for an important file. Since it was rather urgent the boss told the clerk it was an emergency and that he should hurry with the file.
After more than 30 minutes the clerk appears all tired and panting for breath.
The Boss asks him why he was panting and what caused the huge delay.
The clerk replies, 'Boss when I went to the lift it said 'during an emergency please use the staircase'!!!
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love_hunk04
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« Reply #17 on: June 21, 2006, 02:06:33 AM » |
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One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became
apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up
eating beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home
from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told
him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by
a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand.
With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the
time I reached home, so I stopped at the dinner and before I knew
it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my
arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly:
"Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and
led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was
about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to
touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.
The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the
pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the
room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go.
It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a
skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.
I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.
Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink
was worse than oked=20cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the
conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few
minutes.
The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone
farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few
more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on
it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been
the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking
so long.
He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I
had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests
seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!" I nearly died!
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ENTERTAINMENT JUNCTION
