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Funfani.com - Spreading Fun All Over!ENTERTAINMENT JUNCTIONJokes / Funny MessagesJoke Factory.......Must read
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Author Topic: Joke Factory.......Must read  (Read 13227 times)
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« on: June 16, 2006, 10:53:22 PM »

This joke is Ultimate

This is when Amitabh Bachan got fit after his long illness..... one fine morning he told his drvier "Arre bhai aaj Gaadi hum chalayenge..".
Driver: "Par saab aapki tabyat?.."
Amitabh: "Aree meri tabyat thik ho gayi he, I am fit and fine...kya dance karke dikhau, dialogue, fighting kare dikhau.....Hain" Ok
then he starts driving the car very fast.... zoooooooooom breaks one red signal......... breaks second red signal.......... breaks on more red signal........... . . . . . . Then a traffic hawaldar stops the car, tells the driver to move the car to the roadside.
Hawaldar: "Chalo liscence dikhao, puc, gaadi ke kagjaaat..." Sees Amitabh and says, "are Amitabh Bachhan?!!!" he is verysuprised to see him....... Then he quickly on wireless calls his senior officers....
Hawaldar: "Sir, aap jaldi yaha aye naake par..."
Sir: "Kyun kya hua??"
Havaldar: "Sir ek gaadi ne signal toda he aur maine us gaadi ko side me rakha he" Sir: "To phir?"
Hawaldar: "SIr, Us gaadi ka maalik bahut bada aadmi he sir .... mein uska challan nahi phaad sakta aap khud yaha aiye ..
" Sir: "KON MAALIK HE US GAADI KA??" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


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« Reply #1 on: June 16, 2006, 10:53:50 PM »

Bholaji's Prayer To God

Bholaji finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask Bhagwan for help. He goes into the temple and begins to pray........... "Oh Bhagwan, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto(lottery)".

Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Bholaji goes back to the temple..................... "Bhagwan, please let me win the lotto, I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well". Lotto night comes and Bholaji still has no luck!!

Back to the temple.................. "My Bhagwan, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving.. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won't you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order???".

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the sky parts open and Bholaji is confronted by the
voice of God
"Bholaji, buy a damn lottery ticket first".
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« Reply #2 on: June 16, 2006, 10:54:45 PM »

Windows 2000 - Hindi Version

Bill Gates was in India a few days ago.
He announced that Microsoft plans to release a windows version in Hindi.
Here are some Windows related terms that may be used in the Hindi version of...
Khidkiyan 2000:
Phaail = File
Bachao = Save
Aise Bachao = Save as
Subko Bachao = Save All
Mujhe Bachao = Help
Dhoondo = Find
Firse Dhoondo = Find Again
Hilao = Move
Daak = Mail
Daakiya = Mailer
Paas se dhekho = Zoom
Duur se dhekho = Zoom Out
Kholo = Open
Bandh Karo = Close
Naya = New
Khatara = Old
Badli Karo = Replace
Bhaago = Run
Chhaapo = Print
Dekh Ke Chhaapo = Print Preview
Kaapi = Copy
Kaato = Cut
Kato = Stupid Houseguest
Chipkao = Paste
Payshul Chipkao = Paste Special
Goli Maaro = Delete
Nazaara = View
Hathiyaar = Tools
Hathiyaar Khambha = Toolbar
Khuli Chaadar = Spreadsheet
Iska Bhi Naam Nahin Aata = Database
Futaas Ki Goli Kha = Exit
Ped = Tree
Thooso = Compress
Chooha = mouse
Tik-Tik Karo = Click
Idhar-se-Udhar.Udhar-se-Idhar = Scrollbar
Cheers !
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« Reply #3 on: June 21, 2006, 01:56:24 AM »

Application Form For Politicians

Application Form To Be Filled For Contesting Indian Elections


1. Name of Candidate : _______________________
2. Present Address
(i) Name of Jail : _______________________
(ii) Cell Number : _______________________

3. Political Party : _______________________
(List ONLY the Last Five parties in the Chronological (Order)

4. Sex: [ ]
A - Male
B - Female
C - Mayawati

5. Nationality: [ ]
A - Italian
B - Indian

6. Reasons for leaving last party (circle one or more)
A - Defected
B - Expelled
C - Bought out
D - None of above
E - All of above

7. Reasons for contesting elections (circle one or more)
A - To make money
B - To escape court trial
C - To grossly misuse power
D - To serve the public
E - I have no clue
(if you choose "D, attach Certificate of Sanity from a Recognized
Government Psychiatrist)
8. How many years of public service experience do you possess?
A - 1-2 yrs
B - 2-6yrs
C - 6-15yrs
D - 15+yrs

9. Give details of any criminal cases pending against you (Use as
Additional Sheets as you want)
10. How many years have you spent in Jail? [ ]
(Do not confuse with question Cool
A - 1-2 years
B - 2-6 years
C - 6-15 years
D - 15+years

11. Are you involved in any financial scams? [ ]
A - Why not
B - Of Course
C - Definitely
D - I deny it all
E - I see a foreign hand.

12. What is your Annual Corruption Income? [ ]
A - 100-500 Crores
B - 500-1000 Crores
C - Overflow...
(Convert all your $ earning from Hawala etc to Rupees)

13. Do you have any developmental plans for India in mind? [ ]
A - No
B - No
C - No
D - No

14. Describe your achievements in space provided: [_________]

Thumb Impression of candidate
(Not that of the person who filled the form)
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« Reply #4 on: June 21, 2006, 01:56:54 AM »

Sindhi lawyer: Case-wani
Sindhi lawyer after a case: Purse-wani
The blue-skier sindhi: Akash-wani
A coomunist Sindhi: Lal-wani
Sindhi who falls from the first : Thadd-ani
Sindhi who falls from the 17th. floor: Kripl-ani
Sindhi who falls from the 30th. floor: Marj-ani

No offence plz
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« Reply #5 on: June 21, 2006, 01:57:18 AM »

Desi who falls at people's feet: Charan Singh
Desi who falls at peopls' feet and stays there: Gir charan Singh
A gangster Punjabi Female: Hard Kaur
Punjabi who drinks only beer: Just-beer(Jasbir) Singh
Punjabi who has only one drink : Just-one (Jaswant) Singh
Punjabi who visits every temple: Har Mandir Singh
Punjabi Female's boyfriend: Her-Pal Singh
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