love_hunk04
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« on: June 16, 2006, 10:53:22 PM » |
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This joke is Ultimate
This is when Amitabh Bachan got fit after his long illness..... one fine morning he told his drvier "Arre bhai aaj Gaadi hum chalayenge..". Driver: "Par saab aapki tabyat?.." Amitabh: "Aree meri tabyat thik ho gayi he, I am fit and fine...kya dance karke dikhau, dialogue, fighting kare dikhau.....Hain" Ok then he starts driving the car very fast.... zoooooooooom breaks one red signal......... breaks second red signal.......... breaks on more red signal........... . . . . . . Then a traffic hawaldar stops the car, tells the driver to move the car to the roadside. Hawaldar: "Chalo liscence dikhao, puc, gaadi ke kagjaaat..." Sees Amitabh and says, "are Amitabh Bachhan?!!!" he is verysuprised to see him....... Then he quickly on wireless calls his senior officers.... Hawaldar: "Sir, aap jaldi yaha aye naake par..." Sir: "Kyun kya hua??" Havaldar: "Sir ek gaadi ne signal toda he aur maine us gaadi ko side me rakha he" Sir: "To phir?" Hawaldar: "SIr, Us gaadi ka maalik bahut bada aadmi he sir .... mein uska challan nahi phaad sakta aap khud yaha aiye .. " Sir: "KON MAALIK HE US GAADI KA??" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
HAWALDAR : "WOH TO PATA NAHI SIR PAR USNE NE HE NA SIR ... AMITABH BACHHAN KO DRIVER RAKHA HAI....".
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love_hunk04
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« Reply #1 on: June 16, 2006, 10:53:50 PM » |
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Bholaji's Prayer To God
Bholaji finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask Bhagwan for help. He goes into the temple and begins to pray........... "Oh Bhagwan, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto(lottery)".
Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Bholaji goes back to the temple..................... "Bhagwan, please let me win the lotto, I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well". Lotto night comes and Bholaji still has no luck!!
Back to the temple.................. "My Bhagwan, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving.. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won't you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order???".
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the sky parts open and Bholaji is confronted by the voice of God "Bholaji, buy a damn lottery ticket first".
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love_hunk04
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« Reply #2 on: June 16, 2006, 10:54:45 PM » |
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Windows 2000 - Hindi Version
Bill Gates was in India a few days ago. He announced that Microsoft plans to release a windows version in Hindi. Here are some Windows related terms that may be used in the Hindi version of... Khidkiyan 2000: Phaail = File Bachao = Save Aise Bachao = Save as Subko Bachao = Save All Mujhe Bachao = Help Dhoondo = Find Firse Dhoondo = Find Again Hilao = Move Daak = Mail Daakiya = Mailer Paas se dhekho = Zoom Duur se dhekho = Zoom Out Kholo = Open Bandh Karo = Close Naya = New Khatara = Old Badli Karo = Replace Bhaago = Run Chhaapo = Print Dekh Ke Chhaapo = Print Preview Kaapi = Copy Kaato = Cut Kato = Stupid Houseguest Chipkao = Paste Payshul Chipkao = Paste Special Goli Maaro = Delete Nazaara = View Hathiyaar = Tools Hathiyaar Khambha = Toolbar Khuli Chaadar = Spreadsheet Iska Bhi Naam Nahin Aata = Database Futaas Ki Goli Kha = Exit Ped = Tree Thooso = Compress Chooha = mouse Tik-Tik Karo = Click Idhar-se-Udhar.Udhar-se-Idhar = Scrollbar Cheers !
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love_hunk04
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« Reply #3 on: June 21, 2006, 01:56:24 AM » |
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Application Form For Politicians
Application Form To Be Filled For Contesting Indian Elections
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1. Name of Candidate : _______________________ 2. Present Address (i) Name of Jail : _______________________ (ii) Cell Number : _______________________
3. Political Party : _______________________ (List ONLY the Last Five parties in the Chronological (Order)
4. Sex: [ ] A - Male B - Female C - Mayawati
5. Nationality: [ ] A - Italian B - Indian
6. Reasons for leaving last party (circle one or more) A - Defected B - Expelled C - Bought out D - None of above E - All of above
7. Reasons for contesting elections (circle one or more) A - To make money B - To escape court trial C - To grossly misuse power D - To serve the public E - I have no clue (if you choose "D, attach Certificate of Sanity from a Recognized Government Psychiatrist) 8. How many years of public service experience do you possess? A - 1-2 yrs B - 2-6yrs C - 6-15yrs D - 15+yrs
9. Give details of any criminal cases pending against you (Use as many Additional Sheets as you want) 10. How many years have you spent in Jail? [ ] (Do not confuse with question A - 1-2 years B - 2-6 years C - 6-15 years D - 15+years
11. Are you involved in any financial scams? [ ] A - Why not B - Of Course C - Definitely D - I deny it all E - I see a foreign hand.
12. What is your Annual Corruption Income? [ ] A - 100-500 Crores B - 500-1000 Crores C - Overflow... (Convert all your $ earning from Hawala etc to Rupees)
13. Do you have any developmental plans for India in mind? [ ] A - No B - No C - No D - No
14. Describe your achievements in space provided: [_________]
Thumb Impression of candidate (Not that of the person who filled the form)
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love_hunk04
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« Reply #4 on: June 21, 2006, 01:56:54 AM » |
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Sindhi lawyer: Case-wani Sindhi lawyer after a case: Purse-wani The blue-skier sindhi: Akash-wani A coomunist Sindhi: Lal-wani Sindhi who falls from the first : Thadd-ani Sindhi who falls from the 17th. floor: Kripl-ani Sindhi who falls from the 30th. floor: Marj-ani
No offence plz
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love_hunk04
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« Reply #5 on: June 21, 2006, 01:57:18 AM » |
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Desi who falls at people's feet: Charan Singh Desi who falls at peopls' feet and stays there: Gir charan Singh A gangster Punjabi Female: Hard Kaur Punjabi who drinks only beer: Just-beer(Jasbir) Singh Punjabi who has only one drink : Just-one (Jaswant) Singh Punjabi who visits every temple: Har Mandir Singh Punjabi Female's boyfriend: Her-Pal Singh
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