Vatsal
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« on: April 20, 2006, 02:49:08 AM » |
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Yamraj
A MAN WAS SLEEPING IN HIS HOUSE.
SUDDENLY YAMARAJ APPEARED & SAID, "GO OUT & ENJOY. NOTHING WILL HAPPEN TO YOU FOR THE NEXT 10 YEARS."
HE DID SO & MET WITH AN ACCIDENT & DIED.
IN HEAVEN, HE ASKED YAMRAJ, WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - _
- - - - - - - - - " SORRY SON, Appraisal time , HAD TO ACHIEVE TARGET.. "
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Silent Tratement
A husband and his wife were having problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
The man realized he would have to be woken up at 5:00AM by his wife the next morning, which means he would have to break the silent treatment (and LOSE).
So he decided to write a note to her, and put it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning he woke up to find out it is 9:00AM, he missed his flight!
He started getting up, just to find a note beside his bed that said "Its 5:00AM, you have to get up!"
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You Are Lazy
The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.
When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me."
"Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy."
"Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."
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Your mother
A husband said to his wife, "Your mother has been living with us for 5 years now. Isn't it time she got herself her own apartment?" "My mother?" said the shocked wife, "I thought she was your mother."
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Plan For Future:
Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Ahmed : I want 2 b a pilot.
James : I want 2 b a doctor.
Swati: I want 2 b a good mother.
Asif : I want 2 help Swati .
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Exams:
Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS;
1,Too Many Questions.
2,Difficult to Understand.
3,More Explanation is Needed.
4,Result is always FAIL!
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Liar:
A man is dying of Cancer.
His son asked him, Dad, why do u keep telling people
ure dying of AIDS?
Answer: So when Im dead no one will dare touch ur mom
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Delivered:
Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds
later a report came to his phone and he started
dancing. The report said, DELIVERED.
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Three Feelings:
Whats the difference between stress, tension and
panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when
girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are
pregnant.
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The Equation:
7 Glance = 1 Smile
7 Smile = 1 Meeting
7 Meeting = 1 Kiss
7 Kisses = 1 Proposal
7 Proposal = 1 Marriage -
And that 1 Bloody marriage has 777777777777 problems.
So beware of glance!
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Sardar enters shop & shouts, Wheres my free gift
with this oil? Shopkeeper: ISke Saath koi gift
nahin hai bhaisaab Sard : Oye ispe likha hai
CHOLESTROL FREE!!
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ONE FINE DAY A GIRL PROPOSED TO A SARDAR AND
SARDAR DENIED SIMPLY SAYING THAT IN OUR FAMILY, WE
MARRY ONLY OUR RELATIVES..
MY MOM MARRIED MY DAD, MY BROTHER MARRIED MY
BHABHI, MY UNCLE MARRIED MY AUNT AND SO ON. SO
PLEASE EXCUSE ME !!!!!
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Sardars went into a pub and after ordering two beers
took some sandwiches out of their pockets and
started to eat them. You cant eat your own
sandwiches in here, complained the pub-owner. So
the two sardars swapped (exchanged) their
sandwiches.
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A sardar was very fond of sensational and detective
novels, but he always started reading from the
middle. A friend of his asked why he did so?
Itz doubly interesting, said the Sardar. TO start
from the middle keeps one curious not only about its
conclusion but also about its beginning.
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Once a Sardarji was going to his office. On the
way he slipped on a banana peel and was badly hurt.
Next day , on his way to the office, he noticed a
banana peel and Later after two days, he noticed
two banana peels and exclaimed ari sala, aaj to
choice hai!!!!!!
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A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the
pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were
in effect due to the advances in education on earth.
In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly
soul must answer two questions: 1. Name two days
of the week that begin with T. 2. How many
seconds are there in a year? The Sardar thought
for a few minutes and answered... 1. The two days
of the week that begin with T are Today and
Tomorrow. 2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
Saint Peter said, OK, Ill buy the Today and
Tomorrow, even though its not the answer I
expected, so your answer is correct. But how did you
get only 12 seconds in a year? The Sardar
replied, Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March
2nd, etc.... Saint Peter lets him in without
another word
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A Sardar, his wife with son and daugher went to a
party he introduced his family to his friends
saying.. I am Sardar.. and this is Sardarnee
...this is my kid and that is my kidney...!!
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American says US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai..
Sardarji India me to.. shaadi Fe-mail se hoti
hai...!!!
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Q. What do you call a fat lady waiting for a bus?
A. Moti-vating..!!!
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Nurse - Mubarak ho.. Sardarji.. aap papa ban
gaye.. Sardarji - Meri wife ko nahi bolna..
main use surprise doonga..!
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Dr Chopra psychotherapist wanted Sign board to be
pained in front of his clinic but our Sardar painter
painted Dr Chorpa Psycho The Rapist
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What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE
......... Ek bigadti hai to bandh ho jati
hai...... Doosari bigadati hai to SHUROO ho jati
hai
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Ek sardar apne bete se bola : Bevakuf, kaisa machis
leke aaya hai, ek bhi tili nahin jalti.
Beta : Kya baat karte ho papa, sab tili test
karke laya hu.
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Man runs home yelling Pack your bags honey. I just
won the 10 Million lotto. Wife : Do I pack for the
beach or mountains ? Man : Who cares ? Just pack
and get lost !
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Doctor to Sardaar : App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood
group ek hi hai? Sardaar : Hoga, Jarur hoga; 25
saalse mera khoon jo pee rahi hai....
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Koun si devi ka kounsa prasad India mein famous hai
Rabridevi ka laloo prasad
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A two seater plane crashed in a graveyard in Punjab
today.......
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are
still.....digging for more.
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Sardar found answer to most difficult question
question ever What comes first - the chicken or
the egg ?
Oye yaar, jiska order pahele dooge, wo ayega !!!
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