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Title: Cool Jokes...LOL Post by: Vatsal on April 20, 2006, 02:49:08 AM Yamraj
A MAN WAS SLEEPING IN HIS HOUSE. SUDDENLY YAMARAJ APPEARED & SAID, "GO OUT & ENJOY. NOTHING WILL HAPPEN TO YOU FOR THE NEXT 10 YEARS." HE DID SO & MET WITH AN ACCIDENT & DIED. IN HEAVEN, HE ASKED YAMRAJ, WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - _ - - - - - - - - - " SORRY SON, Appraisal time , HAD TO ACHIEVE TARGET.. " _____________________________________________________ Silent Tratement A husband and his wife were having problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The man realized he would have to be woken up at 5:00AM by his wife the next morning, which means he would have to break the silent treatment (and LOSE). So he decided to write a note to her, and put it where he knew she would find it. The next morning he woke up to find out it is 9:00AM, he missed his flight! He started getting up, just to find a note beside his bed that said "Its 5:00AM, you have to get up!" _____________________________________________________ You Are Lazy The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me." "Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy." "Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife." _____________________________________________________ Your mother A husband said to his wife, "Your mother has been living with us for 5 years now. Isn't it time she got herself her own apartment?" "My mother?" said the shocked wife, "I thought she was your mother." _____________________________________________________ Plan For Future: Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future? Ahmed : I want 2 b a pilot. James : I want 2 b a doctor. Swati: I want 2 b a good mother. Asif : I want 2 help Swati . _____________________________________________________ Exams: Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS; 1,Too Many Questions. 2,Difficult to Understand. 3,More Explanation is Needed. 4,Result is always FAIL! _____________________________________________________ Liar: A man is dying of Cancer. His son asked him, Dad, why do u keep telling people ure dying of AIDS? Answer: So when Im dead no one will dare touch ur mom _____________________________________________________ Delivered: Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to his phone and he started dancing. The report said, DELIVERED. _____________________________________________________ Three Feelings: Whats the difference between stress, tension and panic? Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant. _____________________________________________________ The Equation: 7 Glance = 1 Smile 7 Smile = 1 Meeting 7 Meeting = 1 Kiss 7 Kisses = 1 Proposal 7 Proposal = 1 Marriage - And that 1 Bloody marriage has 777777777777 problems. So beware of glance! _____________________________________________________ Sardar enters shop & shouts, Wheres my free gift with this oil? Shopkeeper: ISke Saath koi gift nahin hai bhaisaab Sard : Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE!! _____________________________________________________ ONE FINE DAY A GIRL PROPOSED TO A SARDAR AND SARDAR DENIED SIMPLY SAYING THAT IN OUR FAMILY, WE MARRY ONLY OUR RELATIVES.. MY MOM MARRIED MY DAD, MY BROTHER MARRIED MY BHABHI, MY UNCLE MARRIED MY AUNT AND SO ON. SO PLEASE EXCUSE ME !!!!! _____________________________________________________ Sardars went into a pub and after ordering two beers took some sandwiches out of their pockets and started to eat them. You cant eat your own sandwiches in here, complained the pub-owner. So the two sardars swapped (exchanged) their sandwiches. _____________________________________________________ A sardar was very fond of sensational and detective novels, but he always started reading from the middle. A friend of his asked why he did so? Itz doubly interesting, said the Sardar. TO start from the middle keeps one curious not only about its conclusion but also about its beginning. _____________________________________________________ Once a Sardarji was going to his office. On the way he slipped on a banana peel and was badly hurt. Next day , on his way to the office, he noticed a banana peel and Later after two days, he noticed two banana peels and exclaimed ari sala, aaj to choice hai!!!!!! _____________________________________________________ A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions: 1. Name two days of the week that begin with T. 2. How many seconds are there in a year? The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered... 1. The two days of the week that begin with T are Today and Tomorrow. 2. There are 12 seconds in a year. Saint Peter said, OK, Ill buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though its not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct. But how did you get only 12 seconds in a year? The Sardar replied, Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc.... Saint Peter lets him in without another word _____________________________________________________ A Sardar, his wife with son and daugher went to a party he introduced his family to his friends saying.. I am Sardar.. and this is Sardarnee ...this is my kid and that is my kidney...!! _____________________________________________________ American says US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai.. Sardarji India me to.. shaadi Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!! _____________________________________________________ Q. What do you call a fat lady waiting for a bus? A. Moti-vating..!!! _____________________________________________________ Nurse - Mubarak ho.. Sardarji.. aap papa ban gaye.. Sardarji - Meri wife ko nahi bolna.. main use surprise doonga..! _____________________________________________________ Dr Chopra psychotherapist wanted Sign board to be pained in front of his clinic but our Sardar painter painted Dr Chorpa Psycho The Rapist _____________________________________________________ What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE ......... Ek bigadti hai to bandh ho jati hai...... Doosari bigadati hai to SHUROO ho jati hai _____________________________________________________ Ek sardar apne bete se bola : Bevakuf, kaisa machis leke aaya hai, ek bhi tili nahin jalti. Beta : Kya baat karte ho papa, sab tili test karke laya hu. _____________________________________________________ Man runs home yelling Pack your bags honey. I just won the 10 Million lotto. Wife : Do I pack for the beach or mountains ? Man : Who cares ? Just pack and get lost ! _____________________________________________________ Doctor to Sardaar : App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai? Sardaar : Hoga, Jarur hoga; 25 saalse mera khoon jo pee rahi hai.... _____________________________________________________ Koun si devi ka kounsa prasad India mein famous hai Rabridevi ka laloo prasad _____________________________________________________ A two seater plane crashed in a graveyard in Punjab today....... Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still.....digging for more. _____________________________________________________ Sardar found answer to most difficult question question ever What comes first - the chicken or the egg ? Oye yaar, jiska order pahele dooge, wo ayega !!! |