A lie machine is bought. It works in the following way.....
 
 
 If the truth is told- the machine wont give any sound
 
 If a lie is told- the machine will give a sound  'TNAAAAA...'
 
 Now there are three Indians.One Bengali,one Madrasi and one Sardarji.
 
 Their correspondences are given infront of the lie machine.Here it goes......
 
 
 Bengali:- 'I think I can eat 30 rosogullas at a  time!'
 
 Lie machine:-'TNAAAAA...'
 
 Bengali:-'No no, I think I can eat 10 rosogullas at a time'
 
 Lie machine:- no sound(truth is told)  
 
 
 Madrasi:-'I think i can eat 25 dosas at a time'
 
 Lie machine:-'TNAAA...'
 
 Madrasi:-'No no,I think i can eat 10 dosas at a time'
 
 Lie machine:-no sound(truth)
 
 
 
 Sardarji:-'I think....'
 
 Lie machine:- 'TNAAAAAA.....'
 
 
 
 Sardarji:-'I think...'
 
 Lie machine:-'TNAAAAAAA......
 
 
 
 Sardarji:-'I think...'
 
 Lie machine:-'TNAAAAAAA......
 
 
 
 Sardarji:-'I think...'
 
 Lie machine:-'TNAAAAAAA......
 
 
 
 Sardarji:-'I think...'
 
 Lie machine:-'TNAAAAAAA......
 
 
 
 Sardarji:-'I think...'
 
Lie machine:-'TNAAAAAAA......

One day Lord Shiva decided to visit the earth and try some alcohol.
So he changed his get-up and went to a bar in Delhi and asked the bartender
: "What all do u have".

Bartender : "We have whisky, rum, vodka, gin, beer etc etc.".

Lord Shiva: "Let's try whisky first, give me 5 bottles of whisky".

After having 5 bottles of whisky, Lord shiva decided to try Rum.
Bartender was shocked :"Who is this man, after having 5 bottles of whisky,
he is still on his feet".

After having 5 bottles of Rum, Shiva decided to have beer.


After having 40 bottles of beer, he asked the bartender for Gin.


NEXT IS 2 GUD



Bartender couldn't stop himself asking him : "Sir, who are you??

I ve seen people getting drunk after having 4 glasses of whisky, and you've
almost had 50 bottles and you are still on your feet,

who are you"

Lord Shiva : "VATS, Hum Bhagwaan Shiv hain".

Bartender : AB CHADHI ISKO!!!

 




How To Catch a Lion !! ??






? Newton's Method:

Let, the lion catch you.

For every action there is equal and opposite

reaction. Implies you caught lion.





? Einstein Method:

Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.

Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also

run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can

trap

it easily.



? Software Engineer Method:

Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion. If
anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.





? Indian Police Method:

catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a
lion.





? Rajnikanth Method :

Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime. The lion will
live
in fear and die soon in fear itself.





? Jayalalitha Method:

Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while
it's
sleeping !





? Manirathnam Method (director):

Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark
room
with a single candle lighted.

Keep murmuring something in its ears. The

lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.







? Karan Johar Method (director):

Send a lioness into the forest. Our lion and lioness fall in love with
each other. Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion.
First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness.

But 2nd lioness loves both lions. Now send another lioness(third) into the forest. You don't understand

right... ok....read it after 15 yrs, then

also u wont !







? Yash Chopra method (director):

Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic location.






? Govinda method:

Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.





? Menaka Gandhi method:

save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.





? George bush method:

Link the lion with osama bin laden and shoot him!!!




? Ravi Shastri method:

Ask the lion to bowl at u. U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run .


bIHARI jACK N jILL


Jackwa aur Jillwa

Gaye upar Hillwa

Paani bhari ke waaste

jackwa gir gawa, uka khopdiya phoot gawa

aur Jillwa awat ludkan pooore raaste



[changed color of the joke below as it was not easily readable..]


THE 90 YEAR OLD MAN'SBRIDE


A 90-year-old man was having his annual checkup.
The doctor asked him how he was feeling.

"I've never been better," the old man replied. "I've
got an eighteen-year-old bride who's pregnant &
delivered a child. What is your opinion about that,
Doc?" the old man asked.

The doctor thought for a moment, then said, "Well, let
me tell you a story. I know a guy who is a hunter. He
never misses a season for hunting. But, one day he's
in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his
umbrella instead of his gun. The doctor continued, "So
he's walking in the woods near a creek, and suddenly
he spots a lion in some bush in front of him. He
raises up his umbrella, points it at the lion and
squeezes the handle.
BAM! The lion drops dead in front of him."

"That's impossible!" said the old man in disbelief.
Someone else must have shot that lion."
"Exactly"... Said the Doctor.