When i open my eyes every morning
When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.... Why should only i suffer!!!

 One day Santa"s Girlfriend asks him,"
One day Santa"s Girlfriend asks him, Darling, om our Engagement will you give me a RING?Santa:Ya sure, Give me ur Telephone No.
" " "When I was born Devil said.."
"When I was born Devil said...Oh Shit!!! Another GOD!!!..& When u were born devil said ...Oh Shit!!!!Competition...!!! ....

 Fill in the blank...I"m ur .....friend-"
Fill in the blank...I"m ur .....friend- a)-Cute b)-Sweet c)-Loving d)-Boy/Girl e)-Best of all Reply is a must... ""
" " "Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE- "
"Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE- C-Come,O-On,L-Lets, L-Love, E-Each,G-Girl,E-Equally......Thats why boys go to college regularly....

 Who said english is easy???Fill in the blank
Who said english is easy???Fill in the blank with YES or No... 1.-----I don"t have brain... 2.-----I dont have sence... 3.-----I am stupid....
" " " If ur world is spining Round & Round."
" If ur world is spining Round & Round..& Round....Ur heart is beating fast ,do u think its LOVE? na Munna na its called high B/P...

 Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year,
Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year, Happy Easter, Good luck on Valentines, Spooky Halloween & Happy Birthday Now bug off and don't annoy me for the next 12 months!!!!

 what happend 2 ur mobile?
what happend 2 ur mobile? i was trying 2 call u but i got this msg: welcome 2 D jungle network,D monkey u r tring 2 call is on tree plz try later.

 First the engagement ring, then t
First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering

 Last night I lay in my bed
Last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and the sky...then i thought where the fuck is my roof

 Birdy birdy in the sky dropped
Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly!

 If your a Vegetarian to be nice
If your a Vegetarian to be nice to animals, why are you eating there food

 I'm a killer, i kill people for money
I'm a killer, i kill people for money, but you are my friend
I KILL YOU FOR FREE !!

 Its been a rough day.I got up this
Its been a rough day.I got up this morning,put on a shirt N a button fell off.I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off.I'm afraid 2 go 2 the bathroom

 Jesus says to John come forth ill
Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster

 At dis moment in time 10 million people
At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

 The rain makes all things beautiful
The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

 i want u 2 know dat our friendship
i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again

 An independant study has proven
An independant study has proven dat those who have a bad sex life & who are crap in bed are readin dis message in their right hand!

 I'm @ the police station
I'm @ the police station now been done 4 drink driving.Urine sample was positive so I nicked the sample.they r now doin me 4 taking the piss
 girls are like phones.

girls are like phones. we like to be held and talked too- but if u press the wrong button u'll be disconnected!

1) Q : Wat is the height of mixed emotion ???Ans : Wen ur mother -in- law falls from 7th floor on ur mercedes.....

2) Boy: O Bewafa tune Shadi Q ki? Mera Dil jal k Raakh ho gaya...
Girl: Fikr na kar tumhari Raakh bekar na jayegi...
Yahan bhej do Bartan dhone k kaam aayegi.

3) Nari ke chakkar me bhulo mat yari, Laat maaregi naari to yaad ayegi yaari, Baat maano hamari ban jao brahmchari, Ye jaankari janhit me jaari

4) What is d diff
btwn
daava n daru?

Dava
is lik ''grlfrnd"
dat comes
with expiry date

n

daru
is
like ''wife''
jitni purani hogi
utni sir pe chadti hai.

5) 1 Medical student ne apni classmate ko khun se likha letter dekar kaha,"Muje iska ans jarur dena
Ladki Ne jawab diya,"Tumara blodgrup A+ Hai

6) Aey mere kadradan Dost meri jaan.Tum hamesha rahoge hattekatte naujawan kyounki...Jab Khuda meherban to GADHA bhi PAHALWAN.

7) Napolean:There's no such word as impossible in my dictionary.....

Sardarji : Oye!!!
Toh dictionary dekh ke kharidni
thi na!

Om namah shivaye
om sai ram
wahe guru
jai shri krishna...... ... ............
dar mat kisi ko bhejna nahi hai...khud hi jap le..."Papi".

9) English teacher: "One cute & young girl is walking on d road."
Change this into an Exclamatory sentence.
Student: "Oh GOD, what a piece!!!

10) BANIA apne bacho se bola-Jo rat ko khana nahi khayega,use 5 Rs dunga.
Bache 5-5 Rs le kar so gaye.Subah bola-Jo 5Rs dega use hi khana milega. JAI BANIA.