Khushi
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« Reply #36 on: May 26, 2006, 11:34:15 PM » |
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Annual Medical
Santa went for his annual physical check up. All of his tests came back with normal results.
His Dr. said, "Santa, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?"
Santa replied, "God and me are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he`s fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! the light goes on when I pee, and then poof! the light goes off when I`m done."
"Wow," commented Dr., "That`s incredible!"
A little later in the day Dr. called Jeeto, Santa`s wife and says, "Santa is just fine. Physically he`s great. But I had to call because I`m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! the light goes on in the bathroom and then poof! the light goes off?"
Jeeto exclaimed, "Oh God !! He`s peeing in the refrigerator again!" Lips Sealed Lips Sealed Lips Sealed
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with love
Khushi
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Vatsal
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« Reply #37 on: May 26, 2006, 11:35:14 PM » |
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Puzzled!
Once Santa and Banta were celebrating in a bar. A man walks into the bar and asks what the fuss is all about.
Santa says: "We have just put together a 100 piece jigsaw puzzle in under six hours."
The man says: "So what?€™s the big deal.
The Banta. "On the box it says from 3 to 5 years." Afro Afro Afro Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny
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Khushi
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« Reply #38 on: May 26, 2006, 11:39:57 PM » |
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Q: How do you measure a His intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear!
Q: What is Banta doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q: Why did Banta stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said `concentrate`.
Q: How do you keep him busy?
A: Write `Please turn over` on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q: Why can`t Banta make ice cubes?
A: He always forget the recipe.
Q: How did he try to kill the bird?
A: He threw it off a cliff.
Q: Why did he take his typewriter to the doctor ?
A: He thought it was pregnant because it missed a period. Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny
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with love
Khushi
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Khushi
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« Reply #39 on: May 26, 2006, 11:40:41 PM » |
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Image!
Santa is traveling by the train. On his way, he feels the urge to go to the bathroom. So he goes and opens the door, which happens to have a mirror in the front.
He thinks there is someone in there, quickly shuts the door and returns to his seat.
Five minutes later, he goes again, only to find the same man there. An hour passes, he`s made 20 trips to the bathroom only to find that the same person is still there. So he finally gets ticked off, goes to Ticket Checke (Our Santa) asked him, "What`s been going on."
Listening to him Santa walks down to the compartment with the troubled Banta to get the man out. A few minutes later, he comes back and tells the sardar "I am sorry, I cannot do anything. The guy in there is a railway staff member." Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny
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with love
Khushi
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Khushi
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« Reply #40 on: May 26, 2006, 11:44:35 PM » |
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ID 10 Huh
Santa was having trouble with his computer. So he called the computer guy, over to his desk.
He clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem.
As he was walking away, Santa called after him, "So, what was wrong?"
He replied, "It was an "ID ten T" error."
A puzzled expression ran over Santa`s face. "An "ID ten T" error? What`s that?.. in case I need to fix it again."
"Haven`t you ever heard of an "ID ten T" error before?"
"No," replied Santa.
"Write it down," he said, "and I think you`ll figure it out."
He wrote..... I D 1 0 T
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Khushi
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Khushi
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« Reply #41 on: May 26, 2006, 11:44:58 PM » |
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Drunk Santa
Santa walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk. He staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink.
The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink--he could not be served additional liquor at this bar but could get a taxi called for him.
Santa is briefly surprised then softly scoffs, grumbles, climbs down off the bar stool, and staggers out the front door.
A few minutes later, Santa stumbles in the side door of the bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a drink. The bartender comes over, and still politely--but more firmly refuses service to the man due to his inebriation. Again, the bartender offers to call a taxi for him.
Santa looks at the bartender for a moment angrily, curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while grumbling and shaking his head.
A few minutes later, Santa bursts in through the back door of the bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool, gathers his wits, and belligerently orders a drink.
The bartender comes over and emphatically reminds the man that he is clearly drunk, will be served no drinks, and either a taxi or the police will be called immediately.
Surprised Santa looks at the bartender and in hopeless anguish, cries "Man! How many bars do you work at?"
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with love
Khushi
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ENTERTAINMENT JUNCTION
