Love-making moments are ideally meant to give and receive sexual pleasure. But if either of the partners is unduly aggressive in their sexual acts, the entire experience ends up causing discomfort and marring sexual bliss.

So, how does one deal with a sexually aggressive partner?

While some couples translate their sex drive into a wonderful chemistry in the bedroom, there are others who tend to become extra violent between the sheets.

Dr. Amit Agarwal, a Mumbai-based sexologist explains, “It’s basically the level of sex drive in partners that gets translated into their sexual behaviour. Those with a lower sex hunger will perform the act in a pleasurable way, while those with a higher sex drive will be a more aggressive. So, the need is essentially to control your partner’s sexually aggressive behaviour.”

He further adds, “The foremost thing is to understand the reason behind your partner’s aggressive behaviour during sex. Accordingly you can then decide how to handle them. It’s suggested to take measures that satisfy their sexual needs at the initial stage so that they indulge sex as an act of tenderness, without trying to resort to painfully satisfying their sexual cravings.”

Here are some ways that make love-making an enjoyable act, rather than an unpleasant intimate session. Also, expert share the way out to deal with a sexually aggressive partner...

Indulge in conversation : A sexually aggressive partner knows no boundaries when it comes to dirty talking. And it is entirely up to you how you want to convert these provocative conversations into healthy discussions during sexual moments. It’s a good way to put their sex drive at rest by indulging in more of conversations that lead to creating a comfort zone during sex.

Expert tip : Dr. Medha Sharma, a relationship counselor says, “Talking before a sexual session is beneficial for a relationship. By doing so you are allowing your partner open up and be candid so that you both can enjoy a healthy sexual act sans any discomfort.”

Make the most of for*play : The easiest way to control your partner’s soaring sex drive is to give them a high sense of satisfaction during an extended for*play session. Indulge in sensuous arousal acts to leave them craving for more in the bed.

Expert tip : Dr. Anupam Randhawa, clinical psychologist advices, “A healthy, prolonged for*play will make your partner continue the act of intimacy in the same mood. Make them realise that their for*play gestures turned you on and this will make them realise the importance of tenderness in a sexual relationship.”

Don’t repel much in bed : Remember that aggression in bed gets reflected in your partner’s sexual moves. And a sex-driven mate won’t appreciate any obstruction and interruption. A sexually aggressive mate tells her/his partner what they like, and how to accomplish it. So try and maintain your calm and let the passion build on its own.

Expert tip : Dr. Amit Agarwal, a sexologist feels, “Disrupting your partner during their sexual performance can irk them and this anger gets reflected in their sexual behaviour, which is often aggressive. So it’s suggested not to resist the love-making acts too much. However, be very clear about your desires and don’t do anything just for the sake of pleasing your mate.”

Try role reversal : It’s commonly believed that initiating sex in bed is a male prerogative and this automatically makes them sexually aggressive. But if women try to assume charge on a particular night, the male partner is also likely to feel the same level of interest from her end and thus he won’t be too demanding in his moves.

Expert tip : Dr. Medha adds, “It’s one of the easiest ways to manage your partner’s aggression during sex. Don’t let them perform as they want, rather assume the lead and mould things as per your comfort levels. This will not only result in a calming down your partner’s aggression, but will also ensure a gratifying act in bed sans any roughness.”

Don’t shy away from sharing fantasies : Conversing about sexual fantasies might not be a regular practice among couples. But if they start expressing their sexual desires with greater ease, there would be more of pleasure and less of aggression.

Expert tip : Dr. Randhawa explains, “Without any inhibitions, a sexually aggressive partner doesn't hesitate to tell the other partner exactly what they want. So the best way to control your partner’s sexual aggression is to let them speak aloud their fantasies. But you also must respond to them with an equal interest. By this, their sexual fantasies can reach you through words and not merely through aggressive sexual acts.”