In a train compartment husband: Darling, mujhe to tumhari aatma se pyar hai, tumhare jism ki mujhe koi chah nahin. Main tumhari rooh ko chahta hoon, tumhara shareer tio mein kutton ko daal doon.



Banta sitting on upper berth says: BOW BOW




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Santa & Banta were going with their friend on one scooter & a traffic cop tried to stop them.



Santa said: Sorry bhaji, already 3 baithe hain bilkul bhi jagah nahin hai




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Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho?



Santa: Ji aap hi NE bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am




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Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado
Santa aage nahin bada
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein dus ve number pe tha




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Jeeto: Dekho who admi mujhe ghoor-ghoor ke dekh raha hai.



Santa: Who to kabadia hai, raddi pe nazar rakhna uski aadat hai




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Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.
Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?
Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai




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Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?



Santa: Oye tenuh he vi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI




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Santa: If I die will u remarry?
Jeeto: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Santa: No, I'll also stay with ur sister




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Jeeto: yelled at Santa: U're gonna b really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you!



Santa: Make up ur mind! Which one is it gonna be?




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Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.



Pappu: Haan papa, chalo Maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.




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Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn't come back yet!



Santa: Why don't u cook something else.




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Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Santa: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.




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Banta asked Santa: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?



Santa: Very simple, because he is PM not AM




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Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey Bandar NE poocha: Upar kyon aaya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
Banta: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hoon.




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Santa: What's difference between man & Superman?
Pappu: Man wears underwear under the trouser & superman wears it over the trouser.




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Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?




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A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu at nahi hai ji, tainu hai at lipat ja...




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At a football match ground. Santa: Ye log ball nu foot kyun maar rahe NE?
Boy: Goal karan lai.
Santa: Paar ball tan pehlan hi gol hai hor kinni gol karangey.




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Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?"
Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"