THE STOCK market rollercoaster has left many people dazed and confused, if not broke. Hindustan Times decided to ask some of the finest minds around about what they thought of the crash, boom, bang on the BSE.
MANEKA GANDHI: What did you expect! I have it from reliable sources that those stupid brokers had been running a bull market, alternating it with a bear market. Disgusting! Serves them right.

BAL THACKERAY: It's providence. The government should have renamed the BSE the Chhatrapati Shivaji Stock Exchange. Fits in nicely in the area too, since it's pretty close to the Chhatrapati Shivaji Vaastu Sangrahalaya [the museum, in case you didn't know] and the Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus.

AJIT JOGI: I have just written a letter to param poojya Sonia Gandhi to take over as head of the BSE. This is the will of the people, demonstrated by her thumping win in Rae Bareli.

MALIKA SHERAWAT: It's the Sen-sex, after all. So it goes up and down, up and down, up and down...( J J J )

ARJUN SINGH: The HRD Ministry is proposing a 27 per cent reservation on the 30-share index for penny stocks, since they may be considered backward. The current 'correction' is nothing but a manifestation of years of neglect of such shares.

EKTA KAPOOR: Rename it Ksensex.

SHAYAN MUNSHI: I saw nothing, I heard nothing, I don't even speak Hindi.

ESHA DEOL: Sen? Sex? Isn't that the story of my latest movie, Ankahee?

NICOLAS ALMEIDA: It's a conspiracy by Dan Brown. I would have raised the reward I put on his head but I lost all my money in the crash.

SALMAN KHAN: Let's just shoot those damn bears!

LALU PRASAD YADAV: Kya bole? Bull bhaag gaye? Arre, hamaare paas bahut hai, ek do le jaaon. As it is, Nitish Kumar has taken over our bungalow and we have nowhere to keep them.

MANMOHAN SINGH: We're introducing a bill making it illegal for the Sensex to fall below the 10,500-point mark. Brokerages are, after all, offices of profit.

BILL CLINTON: Sen-sex? I did not have sex-ual relations with that woman, Miss Sen.

GEORGE W. BUSH: Let's bomb the BSE!