The sibling connection!

 

Here’s how you can avoid unhealthy competition between your firstborn and the new baby

 

When the first child is born it is probably the most magical time of a parent’s life. The first child is a symbol of the love you and your partner share. That child becomes the centre of your universe and the child knows it. Suppose you decide to have a second baby; often the first child starts to feel insecure when this happens and might resent the fact that he or she has to share the parent’s affection. So how can you prepare your child to welcome the new baby and avoid any kind of sibling rivalry? Here are a few things you can do as parents to enhance harmony between your children:

GET ACQUAINTED!

One thing parents can do to make the older child comfortable about accepting the new born, is to familiarise the older child with the new one. Remind your firstborn about how much joy he or she brought into your life and how that can never be replaced. In fact make them aware that the new baby will only help the family to grow with love and that love cannot be shared or divided, it is unconditional and will always be there.

GIVE THEM PRIORITY

Often when a new baby is born you are showered with presents from friends and family. This might affect the older child as that was once his or her place to receive these presents. What you can do to make the child feel better is present him or her with something as well. Also let your older child know that their presence is still appreciated. The older child might feel that he or she was the baby of the house and now that place will be taken by the new child. Remind your older child of the benefits that come with being older. This will give them a positive outlook about being the elder sibling.

EQUAL TIME

The older child is used to having you around at all times. With a new baby you might have to divide time and this may not settle very well with the older child. In this case the best thing for you to do would be to involve the firstborn in raising the new baby. You could give your first child small chores that he or she can do to help you with the baby. This way they will feel like a part of the process and you can still spend as much time with them.

REMAIN POSITIVE

Always reinforce your child with positive feed back. Remind him or her that a new baby would mean that they will have company and that siblings are actually a blessing. Make them aware of the benefits of having a brother or sister and how much joy a sibling can bring to their life. By doing this you make the child look forward to having a new born baby around as he or she will be thinking of positive attributes rather than getting jealous.

BE STERN IF YOU HAVE TO

If you tried all of the above and it did not work, then you can get a little stern. By this one does not mean you verbally or physically abuse the child. To be stern all you have to do is let your child know that he or she needs to learn to cooperate and accept what is coming. Make your firstborn understand that all the tantrums in the world are not

going to help or stop the inevitable. Just make sure you do this with maturity because if you hurt your child in the process you will harm them rather than doing them much good.

DON'T COMPARE

This is one mistake parents often make that sets a wall between siblings. Each individual is different from the other. Don’t compare your child and encourage unhealthy competition. Your children are not better or worse than each other, they are just two different personalities. So make sure you understand that yourself before trying to make them understand. Treat your children with equal affection and encourage both regardless of what they choose to do, with equal enthusiasm.

At the end of the day you need to make your children aware that you are all part of one family and that family is the strongest support and love system in the world. So rivalry between family members will only lead to disharmony and feelings of resentment, which you can avoid, just by applying the above.