: Statements :
 

1. God is real, unless declared integer
 
2. Before borrowing money from a friend, decide whether you need more.
 
3. Death is hereditary.
 
4. There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side.

5. An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
 
6. Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.
 
7. Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
 
8. When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
 
9. Cheer up, the worst is yet to come .
 
10. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
 
11. Well done is better than well said .
 
12. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.
 
13. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
 
14. If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
 
15. Where there's a will there are five hundred relatives.
 
16. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die