next »

[reena_all]

Let's face it: English is a terrible language

There is no egg in eggplant, no ham in hamburger and neither pine or
apple in the pineapple.

English muffins were not invented in England; French fries were not
invented in France.
We sometimes take the English language for granted. But if we
examine
its paradoxes, we find that quicksand takes you down slowly, boxing
rings are square and a Guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a
pig. If writers write, how come fingers don't fing? If the plural of
tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?

If teachers taught, why didn't the preacher praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what the heck does a humanitarian
eat?
Why do people recite at a play yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house
Can burn up as it burns down and in which you fill in a form by
filling it out. And a bell is heard only once it goes!
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
creativity of the human race (which of course isn't a race at all).

That is why when the stars are out they are visible, but when the
lights are out they are invisible.

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person
who drives a race car not called a racist?

Why are wise men and wise guys opposites? Why do overlook and
oversee mean opposite things
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make
terrible?

Why isn't 11 pronounced onety-one? If lawyers disbarred and
cergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be
delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree
surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
Why is it that when someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars
in
the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has
wet paint
you will have to touch it just to make sure?

If you take an oriental person and spin him around several times
Does he become disoriented?

If people from Poland are called "poles", why aren't people from
holland called "holes"?

And why is it that when I wind up my watch it starts but when I wind
up,
This story ends?