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[shreyash]

My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.
-Henny Youngman
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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we
met.
    -Rodney Dangerfield
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   A good wife always forgives her husband when she's
wrong.
     -Milton Berle
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The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
    -Henny Youngman
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   After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You     know, I was a
fool when I married you."
The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and  didn't notice."
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--
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let
him keep her.
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I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to     interrupt her.
>  ----------------------------------------------------------
My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So Igot myself
two girlfriends.
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  A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided
   not to report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.
    -------------------------------------------------------
  ;Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he isfinished.
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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does   it cost  to
get married?"
The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still  paying."
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Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of   Africa, a Man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
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> Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then it was too   late.
>  ----------------------------------------------------------
>A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same: "You can have mine."
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A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a  millionaire."
    "And what was he before you married him?" asked the  friend.
"A billionaire." she replied,
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  Marriage is the triumph of imagination over
     intelligence.  Second marriage is the triumph of hope overexperience.-
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  It's not true that married men live longer than single   men. It
only seems longer.
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    Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was  almostimpossible.
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   Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go  through  
life Thinking they had no faults at all.
   ----------------
   -----------------------------------------   A successful man is one
who makes more money than his
   wife
  can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such
  a man.
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    A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask    for
whatever he wants,    But his mother-in-law gets double of what he
gets.   The man thinks for a moment and says,"Okay, give me a    
million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead."
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     Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for
marriage.They've experienced pain and bought
jewellery.----------------------------------------------------------
The most effective way to remember your wife'sbirthday is  to forget it once. -
"I pray to God, please give me what I deserve and not what I desire"