Vatsal
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« on: February 06, 2006, 03:24:32 AM » |
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Men and women -- best friends or worst enemies? Here's the best of humour from both the angles... -:Men Bashing:- How do you get a man on the roof? Tell him the beer's on the house. Why do men like love at first sight? It saves them a lot of time. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A. A dog is always happy to see you B. A dog only takes a couple of months to train What did God say after creating man? I can do better. Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics? He had it bronzed. How do men sort their laundry ? "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable". What is the thinnest book in the world? "What men know about women." What's the difference between men and government bonds? Bonds mature. What is a man's idea of doing housework? Lifting his leg so you can vacuum. How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomach everytime they see a bikini. What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? A. No mind. B. No business. Why do bachelors like smart women ? Opposites Attract. Why are men like commercials? You can't believe a word they say. Men-tal Anxiety. . . Men-opause. . . Men-tal Breakdown. . . Ever noticed that all problems start with MEN? How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? Rename the mail folder to "Instruction Manual." Why do men prefer blondes? Men always like intellectual company. -:Men Strike Back:- How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..." Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it. How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told. I married a Miss Right... I just didn't know her first name was Always. Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake. Why do men die before their wives? They want to. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
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