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Warring at work!

 

Disagreements at the workplace are not uncommon, but there are ways to deal with it, says Dipti Nagpaul

 

Cricketer Saurav Ganguly and coach Greg Chappell have hogged reams over the last few months. Among other things, the nature of the spat between the two is something that many of us may have encountered in our working lives. Simply put, it boils down to coping with tiffs at the workplace.

The relationships we forge in the workplace form a major part of our work. When our relationships at work are going well we feel invigorated and alive: we like being at work. On the other hand, when they go sour, it can affect us in a manner that we may even consider quitting our job.

This is exactly what happened with Mitali Parekh, a media professional. She had to deal with a boss who turned out to be a "control freak". "She would dislike it when colleagues would talk to each other when she would step out of the room. “She even controlled how we operated, to the extent that it started affecting our efficiency. She would often discuss with us our personal lives on the pretext of an 'open discussion' and use it against us at a later stage," Parekh says.

The last nail in the coffin came when her boss accused her of taking too many days off, when Parekh was unable to show up for work during the July floods last year. "That did it for me. I could no longer stand her inhuman behaviour, especially when I was making sure that I did all my work well and in time," Parekh explains.

According to Dr Anil Naik, Professor Emeritus at Welingkar Institute of Management and a strategic management expert, the relationships between our personal/ family life and our working life are two-way. "Work related difficulties and stresses can affect our personal and family well-being just the way they affect our performances at work," says Dr Naik.

Saurav Parashar, a senior advisor with 3 Global Services, agrees. "A couple of months back a new girl joined our team and I was designated to be her mentor. But she turned out to be a very difficult intern. Each call that came to her set off a panic button. She would come screaming to me for help, irrespective of whether I was on another call or out for a break. What irritated me the most was the fact that she just refused to learn, making it a habit to call me for help. It started telling on my personal life too. I would go home irritated and the smallest of things was enough to drive me over the edge," he says.

If you are in such a situation, consider speaking to a boss who you are comfortable with, or to the human resources department for help in dealing with it, suggests Dr Naik.

Sandeep Sahni, a banker, did just that. "My ex-boss believed in 'divide and rule'. He would practice office politics. Initially, I tried to avoid it but that only turned him against me. He started victimising me by turning everyone against me. I took it for some time but finally I spoke to the HR department and they helped me procure a transfer to another department," elaborates Sahni.

However, in most cases people like to try to deal with the situation before they report it. If that's what you want to do, Dr Naik has some tips for you:

•  Seek the advice of a trusted mentor who may have dealt with this before

•  Confront the person in a professional manner

•  Stay as calm as possible. Don't yell or threaten. If your colleague is a bully then this will encourage them to come back for more

•  Don't cry or show weakness either. Be assertive, not aggressive

•  Don't try to win over other people to your side. The way in which you handle the situation will allow them to make their own judgements

•  Don't allow the person to intimidate you or make you feel bad about yourself. You know your true worth.

•  Do your job well. The person wants you to fail and when you don't, they will be defeated.

•  Make sure your superiors are aware of your work. Such people often try to spread the word that you are not doing your job well

•  Don't allow the person to isolate you from your colleagues. Keep up your workplace friendships.

Finally, citing the Chappell and Ganguly example, Dr Naik says: "One issue often neglected is that once the management helps resolve the issue, they do not take any further steps to ensure that there is no more conflict between the two people. It is the management's responsibility to keep the two parties busy with other challenges so that they do not keep coming back at each other. Once that is taken care of, mutual harmony and peace at the workplace is ensured."


THE ACTIOINS TO AVOID

•  Having loud telephone conversations
•  Not cleaning up after yourself in the staff kitchen or washrooms
•  Showing up late for meetings
•  Looking at a co-worker's computer screen over their shoulder
•  Taking supplies from a co-worker's desk
•  Neglecting to say please and thank you
•  Talking behind someone's back
•  Asking someone to lie for you
•  Blaming someone else when you are at fault
•  Taking credit for someone else's work
•  Asking a subordinate to do something unrelated to work, i.e. run errands
•  Opening someone else's mail
•  Telling offensive jokes
•  Not pulling your own weight
•  Complaining about the company, boss, and co-workers
•  Having a condescending attitude toward others.