For those of you who are married, were married, or are contemplating marriage under the assumption that men need (or ought) to be trained for marriage…


TWO YEAR DEGREE COURSE

A new two-year degree is being offered at the University that many of you should be interested in:

Becoming a Real Man. That's right, in just six mini-semesters, you, too, can be a real man as well as earn a MA degree. (Male Arts)



Please take a moment to look over the program outline.


FIRST YEAR

Autumn Schedule:

MEN 101: Combating Stupidity

MEN 102: You, Too, Can Do Housework

MEN 103: PMS-Learn To Keep Your Mouth Shut

MEN 104: We Do Not Want Sleazy Under things for Christmas



Winter Schedule:

MEN 110: Wonderful Laundry Techniques

MEN 111: Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 4am

MEN 112: Parenting: It Doesn't End with Conception

EAT 100: Get a Life, Learn to Cook

EAT 101: Get a Life, Learn to Cook II

ECON 001A: What's Hers is Hers



Spring Schedule:

MEN 120: How NOT to Act like a Butt Face when you're Wrong

MEN 121: Understanding Your Incompetence

MEN 122: YOU, The Weaker Sex

MEN 123: Reasons to Give Flowers

ECON 001C: What Was Yours is Hers


SECOND YEAR

Autumn Schedule:

SEX 101: You CAN Fall Asleep without It

SEX 102: Morning Dilemma: If It's Awake, Take a Shower

SEX 103: How to Stay Awake After Sex

MEN 201: How To Put the Toilet Seat Down



(Elective)

(See Electives Below)

Winter Schedule:

MEN 210: The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency

MEN 211: How to Not Act Younger than Your Children

MEN 212: You, Too, Can be a Designated Driver

MEN 213: Honest, You Don't Look Like Brad Pitt

MEN 230A: Her Birthdays and Anniversaries are Important



Spring Schedule:

MEN 220: Omitting %&*!@ from Your Vocabulary (Pass/Fail Only)

MEN 221: Fluffing the Blanket after Farting Is NOT Necessary

MEN 222: Real Men Ask For Directions

MEN 223: Thirty Minutes of Begging is NOT Considered Foreplay

MEN 230B: Her Birthdays and Anniversaries are Important II



Course Electives:

EAT 102: Cooking with Tofu

EAT 103: Utilization of Eating Utensils

EAT 103: Burping and Belching Discreetly

MEN 231: Mothers-In-Law

MEN 232: Appear to Be Listening

MEN 233: Just Say "Yes, Dear"

ECON 001C: Cheaper to Keep Her