ahkil
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« on: September 28, 2007, 01:21:02 AM » |
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Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a
razor-blade."
"Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you
done anything yet ?"
"Yea, I shaved with the electric razor."
_____
"Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just
can't stop my hands
shaking!"
"Do you drink a lot?"
"Not really - I spill most of it!"
_____
"Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the
violin after the operation?"
"Yes, of course..."
"Great! I never could before!"
_____
Man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife
is pregnant, and her
contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her
husband!"
_____
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad
news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad
news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results.
They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 HOURS! Thats terrible!! WHAT could
be WORSE? What's the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since
yesterday.
_____
A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup.
He hasn't been feeling well and wants to find out if he's ill.
After the checkup the doctor comes
out with the results of the examination.
"I'm afraid I have some bad news. You're dying
and you don't have much time," the doctor says.
"Oh no, that's terrible. How long have I got?"
the man asks.
"10..." says the doctor.
"10? 10 what? Months? Weeks? What?!" he asks
desperately.
"10...9...8...7..."
_____
A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a
cucumber up his nose, a
carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right
ear.
"What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor.
The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."
_____
A young woman went to her doctor complaining of
pain.
"Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor.
"You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the
woman.
"What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor,
"be a little more specific."
The woman touched her right knee with her index
finger and yelled, "Ow,
that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and
again yelled, "Ouch!
That
hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe,
"Ow, even THAT hurts",
she cried.
The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment
and told her his
diagnosis, "You have a broken finger."
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