ahkil
|
|
« on: September 27, 2007, 11:08:53 PM » |
|
? When I was born, I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
? Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, and kill them.
? Until I was 13, I thought my name was 'Shut Up.'
? I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
? Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
? I've never been drunk, but often I've been over served.
? The road to success is always under construction.
? I say no to drugs -- they just don't listen!
? Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
? Work is fine if it doesn't take up too much of your time.
? When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
? Born free; Taxed to death.
? Everyone has a photographic memory; some people just don't have film.
? Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
? Smile -- it makes people wonder what you're up to.
? I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.
? A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
? The hardest part of skating is the ice.
? The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot; the guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
? The trouble with being punc tual is that there's no one there to appreciate it.
? If our constitution allows us free speech, why are there phone bills?
? If you tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, he'll believe you. But if you tell him a park bench has just been painted, he has to touch it to be sure.
? Beat the 5 O'clock rush: leave work at noon!
? If you can't convince them, confuse them.
? It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.
? I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
? Hot glass looks same as cold glass. (Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers)
? Someday is not a day of the week
|