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October 22, 2021, 12:56:45 PM
Funfani.com - Spreading Fun All Over!COOL STOPFunzug Group MailsInteresting One Liners.
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ahkil
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« on: September 27, 2007, 11:08:53 PM »

? When I was born, I was so surprised I didn't
talk for a year and a half.



? Join the army, see the world, meet interesting
people, and kill them.



? Until I was 13, I thought my name was 'Shut
Up.'



? I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be
there when it happens.



? Always and never are two words you should
always remember never to use.



? I've never been drunk, but often I've been
over served.



? The road to success is always under
construction.



? I say no to drugs -- they just don't listen!



? Marriage is one of the chief causes of
divorce.



? Work is fine if it doesn't take up too much of
your time.



? When everything's coming your way, you're in
the wrong lane.



? Born free; Taxed to death.



? Everyone has a photographic memory; some
people just don't have film.



? Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.



? Smile -- it makes people wonder what you're up
to.



? I love being a writer... what I can't stand is
the paperwork.



? A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case,
the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.



? The hardest part of skating is the ice.



? The guy who invented the first wheel was an
idiot; the guy who invented the other three, he was
the genius.



? The trouble with being punc tual is that
there's no one there to appreciate it.



? If our constitution allows us free speech, why
are there phone bills?



? If you tell a man there are 300 billion stars
in the universe, he'll believe you. But if you tell
him a park bench has just been painted, he has to
touch it to be sure.



? Beat the 5 O'clock rush: leave work at noon!



? If you can't convince them, confuse them.



? It's not the fall that kills you; it's the
sudden stop at the end.



? I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your
horn louder.



? Hot glass looks same as cold glass. (Cunino's
Law of Burnt Fingers)


? Someday is not a day of the week

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