Funky Greeting Cards Texts



I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life...

I've changed my mind.



I must admit, you brought religion into my life...

- I never believed in Hell until I met you.



As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....

That you're not here to ruin it for me .



Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go....

Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.



Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....

Almost lifelike!



When we were together, you said you'd die for me...

- Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.



Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....

- Did you ever find out who the father was?



You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...

- I'd miss you terribly and think of you often .



Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...

So we're having you put to sleep.



Looking back over the years that we have been together, I can't help but wonder.....

What the hell was I thinking



I'm so miserable without you...

It's almost like you're still here.



Thank you for being part of my life....

I never knew what evil was until I met you!



Congratulations on your wedding day!...

Too bad no one likes your husband.



How can I say this....

Your cooking kills me



Hooray.....

- You're divorced.



I just want you to knowthat I'm sorry for what happened...

- Especially since you survived.



Congrats on getting married...

It's not everyday you decide to ruin your life.



Someday I hope to marry...

Someone other than you.



We have been friends for a very long time...

What do you say we stop?