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Funfani.com - Spreading Fun All Over!ENTERTAINMENT JUNCTIONJokes / Funny MessagesComputer Technology JokesGeneral Terms with Cool Definitions
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Ryan Martis
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« on: August 06, 2009, 02:25:05 AM »



Cigarette:

A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.



Love affairs:

Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.

***********

Marriage:

It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

***********

Divorce:

Future tense of marriage

***********



Lecture:

An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.

***********



Conference:

The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

***********



Compromise:

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

***********



Tears:

The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine waterpower.. .

***********



Dictionary:

A place where divorce comes before marriage.

***********



Conference Room:

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

***********



Ecstasy:

A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

***********



Classic:

A book which people praise, but do not read.

***********



Smile:

A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

***********



Office:

A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.



Yawn:

The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.



Etc:

A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.



Committee:

Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

***********

Experience:

The name men give to their mistakes.



Atom Bomb:

An invention to end all inventions.



Philosopher:

A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.



Diplomat:

A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.



Opportunist:

A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.



Optimist:

A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am not injured yet.



Pessimist:

A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY



Miser:

A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.



Father:

A banker provided by nature.



Criminal:

A guy no different from the rest... Except that he got caught.

***********

« Last Edit: April 29, 2010, 05:36:32 AM by Kathie Shayne » Report to moderator   Logged
Ryan Martis
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« Reply #1 on: August 06, 2009, 02:25:36 AM »

Politician:

One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

***********

Doctor:

A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.



Boss:

Someone who comes early when you are late and is late when you come early.

***********

Classic:

Books, which people praise but do not read.

***********

Compromise:

The art of dividing a cake that everybody believes he got the largest piece.

***********

Committee:

A group of individuals who can do nothing individually but sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

***********

Conference:

The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

***********

Conference Room:

A venue where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody agrees later.

***********

Dictionary:

A place where pay, reward and success come before work.

***********

Doctor:

A medical person who kills your ills by pills and kills you with bills.

***********

Etc.:

A grammatical sign used to make people believe that you know more than you do.

***********

Experience:

The name men give to their mistakes.

***********

Father:

A banker provided by nature.

***********

Lecture:

The art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to that of the students without going through the brains of either.

***********

Life Insurance:

A contact that keeps you poor all your life so that you can be rich after.

***********

Marriage:

An agreement where a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

***********

Nurse:

A person who wakes you to give you sleeping pills.

***********

Office:

A place where you can relax after your strenuous homely life.

***********

Philosopher:

A man who torments himself all his life to become wise after death.



Politician:

Someone who shakes your hand before the elections and your confidence after.

***********

Saturday and Sunday:

Are strong days as the others are weak days (weekdays).

***********

School:

A place where Papa pays and son plays.

***********

Smile:

A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

***********

Tears:

A hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

***********

Yawn:

The only time a husband can open his mouth.

***********
School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you
can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and
a woman gains her masters.

Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by
feminine waterpower.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the
Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds
of either"

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody
believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and
everybody disagrees later on.

Father : A banker provided by nature.

Criminal : A guy no different from the rest...except that he got caught.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence
after.

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic Books: which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually
do.

Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide
that nothing can be done together.

Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher : A fool who pain himself during life, to be spoken of when
dead.
« Last Edit: April 29, 2010, 05:40:38 AM by Kathie Shayne » Report to moderator   Logged
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