A guy rushes into a bar, orders four expensive 30-year-old single malts and has the bartender line them up in front of him.

Then without pausing, he quickly downs each one. “Whew”, the bartender remarked, “you seem to be in a hurry.”

“You would be too if you had what I have.”

“What do you have?” the bartender sympathetically asked.

“Fifty cents.”