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[Dalton Pinto]

Paddy was the most intelligent man in Ireland. He was the president of the Irish branch of Mensa and he had won a million pounds on Who wants to be a Millionaire, and was Professor of astrophysics at the Paddy Institute of Technology.

One day, he was in the pub and his mates were telling him that he should appear on Mastermind, the quiz where the most intelligent men on the planet, show their superior brainpower. So he filled in the forms and sure enough was called up, and over to London he went to appear on the show.

The moment came when he was called up to the chair, to be questioned.

"Paddy, what is your specialist subject?"

"Irish History."

"Paddy your minute starts now. Who was the leader of the Irish Revolution?"

"Pass."

"In what year was the revolution?"

"Pass."

"How many men died during the Easter Revolution?"

"Pass."

"What was the name of the British informer who helped the rebels?"

"Pass."

All of a sudden his friend stood up in the audience and roared, "Good man Paddy, tell the fu**ing English nothing."