Whatsamatta University's Seminars For Men Fall Catalogue

Once again, the female staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for men of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better. Attendance in at least 10 of the following is required.


1. Combatting Stupidity.

2. You Too Can Do Housework.

3. Resistance to Beer.

4. How To Properly Fill An Ice Tray.

5. We Do Not Want Sleazy Underwear For Christmas (Give Us Credit Cards).

6. Understanding The Female Response To Coming Home Drunk At 4:00am.

7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques (also called "Don't Wash My Silks").

9. Get A Life - Learn To Cook.

10. How Not To Act Like An Idiot When You Are Obviously Wrong.

11. Spelling - Even You Can Get It Right.

12. Understanding Your Financial Incompetence.

13. You, The Weaker Sex.

14. Reasons To Give Flowers.

15. Garbage - Getting It To The Curb.

16. You Cannot Always Wear Whatever You Please.

17. How To Put Down A Toilet Seat.

18. Give Me A Break - Why We Know Your Excuses Are Lies.

19. How To Go Shopping With Your Mate Without Getting Lost.

20. The Remote Control - Overcoming Your Dependency.

21. Helpful Posture Hints For Couch Potatoes.

22. Mother-in-Laws Are People Too.

23. The Weekend And Sports Are Not Synonymous.  

24. How Not To Act Younger Than Your Children.  

25. You Too Can Be A Designated Driver.

26. Male Bonding: Leave Your Friends At Home.

27. Attainable Goal - Omitting Foul Expletives From Vocabulary.

28. You Don't Really Need That Porsche.


Whatsamatta University's Seminars For Women Fall Catalogue

Once again, the male staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for women of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better. Attendance in at least 10 of the following is required.

1. Combatting The Impulse To Nag.

2. You Can Change The Oil Too.

4. How To Properly Fill A Beer Mug.

5. We Do Not Want Ties For Christmas.

6. Understanding The Female Causes Of Male Drunkenness.

7. How To Do All Your Laundry In One Load And Have More Time To Watch Football.

8. Parenting - Your Husband Gave You Children So You Could Have Someone Other Than Him To Boss Around.

9. How To Encourage Your Husband To Cook More And Be Able To Stomach His Slop.

10. How Not To Sob Like A Sponge When Your Husband Is Right.

11. Get A Life - Learn To Kill Spiders Yourself.  

12. Balancing A Checkbook - Even You Can Get It Right.  

13. Comprehending Credit Card Spending Limits And Financial Responsibility.

14. You, The Whining Sex.

15. Shopping - Doing It In Less Than 16 Hours.  

16. If You Want To Know How That Looks On You, Ask Your Mother.

17. How To Close The Garage Door.

18. If You Don't Want An Excuse, Don't Demand An Explanation.

19. How To Go Fishing With Your Mate And Not Catch Pneumonia.

20. Living Without Power Windows - How To Turn A Crank.

21. Romanticism - The Whole Point Of Caviar, Candles, And Conversation.

22. How To Retain Your Composure While Your Husband Is Relaxing By Himself.

23. Why You Don't Need To Invite Your Mother Over Every Weekend.

24. Payday And Shopping Are Not Synonymous.

25. How To Act Younger Than Your Mother.

26. You Too Can Carry A Backpack.

27. Female Friendship - Why Your Best Friends Are Not The Women Who Complain About You The Most.

28. Learning To Appreciate The Beer Belly And Lard Butt Morphologies Of Men.

29. Attainable Goal - Catching A Ball Before It Stops Moving.

30. How To Close The Top On The Toothpaste.