Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.
 
Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

 
Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master.
 
College : A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.
 
Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
 
Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

 
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power...
 
Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage .
 
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

 
Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
 
Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
 
Smile :- A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
 
Office :- A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
 
Yawn :- The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
 
Etc. :- A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
 
Committee :- Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.!

Experience :- The name men give to their mistakes.
 
Atom Bomb :- An invention to end all inventions.
 
Philosopher :- A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
 
Diplomat :- A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
 
Opportunist :- A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
 
Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

 
Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in RO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY
 
Miser :- A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
 
Father :- A banker provided by nature.
 
Criminal :- A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
 
Boss :- Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
 
Politician :- One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
 
Doctor :- A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.